with 'quotes' tag

“these are non-paying positions and the midget wanted cash.” — celia

“have a merry christmas, a happy hanukkah, a kwaazy kwanzaa, a tip-top tet, and a solemn, dignified, ramadan.” — krusty the clown

mmm, rabbits

this story has one of the most brilliant quotes i’ve ever seen in a news article: “It didn’t happen overnight. You don’t take a drug and go ‘Mmm, rabbits’.”

“friendship is a very taxing and arduous form of leisure activity.” — mortimer adler

tax that fellow behind the tree

who knows why they call it “playing hooky,” but i don’t think it really counts if you give notice a week in advance, and it’s so you can go get your taxes done on the last possible day before bad things happen.

and now that i double-check, the last possible day is actually monday. so i guess i am really getting my taxes done early this year.

next year i won’t be able to be so lax, because i will surely owe money.

“rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. it is not fair that some men should be happier than others.” — oscar wilde

gon out





jay mohr on why fantasy football is good for the nfl: “due to the intense study and preparation for a fantasy draft, i can meet anyone from anywhere in the country and talk knowledgeable, intelligent football with them. unless they’re from cleveland.”

you can vote for what nfc games you want to see on the los angeles fox affiliate this sunday. i’m not holding out much hope that the vikings v. bucs will be one of them. i suspect the first game i’ll get to see will be their home game against the saints, because i will be in minnesota that weekend.

“it is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt” is a quote i’ve seen attributed to both mark twain and abraham lincoln. it would be interesting to know who actually said it. i suspect it was neither of them.

i need a t-shirt that says “yes, i am usually this quiet.”

“you make me want to be a better man.” — jack nicholson as melvin udall in as good as it gets, screenplay by mark andrus and james l. brooks

“when a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.” — george bernard shaw

“the ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.” — w. somerset maugham

“to try to be better is to be better.” — charlotte cushman

“i never have found the perfect quote. at best i have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffable idea I seek to express.” — caldwell o’keefe

“i get very infatuated with people i come in contact with every day. someone i work with, someone i see regularly, someone i don’t even talk to. i develop ‘crushes’ on almost anyone mildly attractive or interesting, with no real reason. it always last for long periods of time and it’s pretty pathetic really. my way of dealing with it is to never act on it and never discuss it in any way, with anyone, ever.” — “puke & cry” answering a question about crushes on askmefi.

“they say all native californians come from iowa.” — fred macmurray as walter neff in double indemnity, screenplay by billy wilder

“It is a myth that people resist change. People resist what other people make them do, not what they themselves choose to do. . . . That’s why companies that innovate successfully year after year seek their people’s ideas, let them initiate new projects and encourage more experiments.” Rosabeth Moss Kanter, in The Vineyard Gazette, sometime during the summer, 1997 (from isenberg’s favorite quotes)