signs

and the sign said, “long-haired freaky people need not apply”
so i tucked my hair up under my hat, and i went in to ask him why
he said, “you look like a fine, upstanding young man, i think you’ll do”
so i took off my hat and said, “imagine that, ha! me workin’ for you!”

oh, sign, sign, everywhere a sign
blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind
do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

and the sign said anybody caught trespassin’ would be shot on sight
so i jumped on the fence and i yelled at the house
“hey, what gives you the right
to put up a fence to keep me out, or to keep mother nature in
if god was here he’d tell you to your face, man you’re some kind of sinner!”

now hey there mister can’t you read
you got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
you can’t even watch, no you can’t eat
you ain’t supposed to be here

the sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside, ha!

and the sign said “everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray”
but when they passed around the plate at the end of it all
i didn’t have a penny to pay
so i got me a pen and a paper, and i made up my own little sign
i said “thank you, lord, for thinkin’ about me, i’m alive and doin’ fine”

— “signs,” by arthur thomas

there’s a great version of this song by tesla from their five man acoustical jam live album.