i'm doing a lot of pondering today about what the hell it is that i want to be doing with my life. more specifically, how to do something different in a system that favors bland conformity. i get the sinking feeling that the best approach is going to be the usual "less than completely satisfying day job" and "starved for attention side project that i really care about". i need to find a way to have those two fuel off each other. (of course, the real ideal would be for the two to be one, but i find that exceedingly unlikely.)