time to check the credit report

them: “i'm calling about your account at walmart that has been $56 overdue for two months.”

me: “i don't have an account with walmart.”

them: “just a minute.”

(a minute passes.)

them: “is your name james winstead the junior?”

me: “yes.”

them: “is your address p.o. box 12345, burbank, ca?”

me: “no.”

them: “okay, thank you.”